If you are reading this, LUCKY YOU!

August...
We came back from Sacramento after having a visit with our LDSFS adoption case worker. We felt completely deflated. I think I was so hopeful that our 2.5 hour trip there just to meet with him would have ended in exciting news or hope that we'd hear some exciting news about another adoption soon. Two years. We'd been waiting for 2 years. We're all getting older, which put Tyler and I into the higher age bracket for birth mom's to search for (which is not the age group most search in) and Griffin of course is getting older as well--I was so hoping and praying that he'd have a sibling who was sort of close in age. I had no idea that moving away and not having any ties or knowing anyone in our situation in the city we now live in would be such a challenge for growing our family. I pulled out all of my tricks that we used before we adopted Griffin... sent out announcements, pass along cards, emails, facebooked, I even sent out cards to institute presidents who might come in contact with students who were seeking council on unplanned pregnancies. Nothing. Not one ounce of interest. Not one email. A lot of very supportive family and friends, but no leads on any interest in adoption. I never thought the second time around would be so difficult. Our first round with adoption was hard to decide upon, but this seemed more difficult than the first time. So, of course on my knees I fell. Every day asking my Heavenly Father to guide me to answers on how to help our family to grow, and mostly how to help Griffin have a sibling. Out of all of this, that has been the hardest part. Being away from all of our cute little cousins, of course he's got some cute fun little friends here, but it's just not the same when you don't actually have another extra little person running around your house keeping the other one company.

September...
After researching the internet for other adoption agencies, other options, other leads, I came across a fertility clinic in Tennessee. Yes, Tennessee. The website was full of information and something in particular was different types of infertility they've dealt with in the past almost 20 years. I was starting to feel hopeful again and a new answer was coming our way. I couldn't believe that I stumbled upon this information... well of course I could, I was led to it!

Infertility and adoption...
No, I've never talked about it before publicly. It's not really something that you just come out and talk about. So, everyone knows that we haven't been able to have children of our own, the usual, normal way. It just wasn't in the plan for us, and with a lot of prayer, we've come to realize that our Heavenly Father has a plan for us when it comes to building our family. All the tests we had done were conflicting. We'd get one answer from one Doctor and one answer from another. You can only go through getting poked and tested so much before you say, okay that's enough. Adoption was the right choice for us the first time and what a blessing Griffin has been to us. I know the Lord had a hand in that divine plan. It all came together without a bump in the road. It was a perfect experience. Because it was such a wonderful experience the first time, of course we'd do it again. It took 9 months, a move to a new city (12 hours from either family), another move to a different house (thanks to crappy landlords), for a total of 2 years before we were able to get our paperwork in again for adoption. And this time the closest center was over 2 hours away from us (not convenient, and very easily forgotten). Griffin was 2. I was so sure in my head that the second time would go so quickly that we waited for Griffin to get a little older before we adopted again. No such luck. We had so many people ask us all the time if we'd heard anything on another adoption. Frankly, I was tired of having to tell everyone, NO, nothing. Mostly because it was hard for me to hide my disappointment in having to answer the question. We also had so many tell us we were in Redding for a reason and that we should seriously look into foster care because that's what they do up here. --quick side note for that... Foster care is a wonderful opportunity for those who are able to do it. Our situation is different in the fact that we didn't know how long we'd be in Redding or the state of California, and having kids come in and out of our house when our goal is to build an eternal family, would rip my heart out. Bless all of you who have fostered and do foster care now. It takes certain people to take on that life and you literally have a golden seat waiting for you in heaven! Right now, I'm not cut out for that life, but I'm not discounting it. Maybe someday I will take on that mighty task. Right now, my mind just can't wrap itself around the idea. Seriously, bless you all.

October...
There was definitely a reason we moved to Redding. I will admit that I've kicked and screamed for practically the entire almost 4 years that we've been here. I've wondered almost every day why we moved away from our families. But it finally hit me. Gaining the wonderful job experience that Tyler is receiving here on heavy civil projects, and the amazing friends we've made that we practically call our other family members now, the frustration of not hearing one ounce of news on an adoption was why we were here as well as everything just mentioned. It had to lead us to have to find other answers on how to build our family. After reading the information on the infertility center's website, beginning to end at least one hundred times, I received a packet in the mail from them with all of the paperwork. Tyler and I had talked and prayed and talked and prayed some more about the decision to try IVF (in-vetro-fertilization). We finally came to the answer that it was right and this was the answer to our prayers. So, we filled out the paperwork, paid the fees and were hopeful that we'd have an actual transfer by January. Well, to our disappointment, we found out that appointments were already booked for the center through January. Our first visit (which should have been in December) and our actual transfer for January. We were bummed, but it didn't mean that things weren't going to happen, it would just be a few more months away.

November...
After all paperwork was in, health documents etc, I got a call from the nurse at the fertility center who said they had a cancellation in December and wondered if we'd like to take it! Of course! I booked our flights that day and we left to Tennessee the second week of December. It was the "trial transfer" and medical check-up for me. The Doctor said I was perfectly healthy and said that I was a perfect candidate for IVF. Unfortunately, this fertility center only does transfers every other month and since it was the middle of December and the next transfer month was January, I wouldn't be on all the medications for long enough, so they booked us for the next transfer month which was March. But how exciting to know that we had every hope of this working for us! We were more than excited, and nervous for what was to come in the months ahead of us.

Fast forward to March...
The boxes of meds, and long needles showed up at the end of January. First, bless all of you who have gone through the experience of IVF. It is not a fun journey. The needles and medications are not fun. What made me sad was not being able to run like I had been because of the bruises the progesterone shots were leaving on my rear end. I couldn't even sit through 3 hours of church I was in so much pain. I spent most of February laying on the couch on a heating pad and limping when ever I needed to get around the house. All for a good cause was what I kept reminding myself! After talking with the nurse the first time in October until March, I really thought the time would go so slowly. But it honestly came quite fast. It was already the week of our transfer and we found ourselves traveling to Utah to drop off Griffin for a week to be watched by my sister and then it was off to catch a plane to travel East and hopefully witness a miracle. I remember our flight there... 4 hours on a plane with a sore rear end from shots and other medications that I was taking just a few days before our transfer. I felt like I was in a daze. Like it wasn't really happening but of course it was. The day of the transfer was a good day. I was on some serious medications and felt like I was floating on a cloud. I couldn't believe we were there, and I remember feeling so thankful for all the nurses and the doctor who was about to do this procedure for us. After the procedure, yep, quick, literally took an hour from entering the building to leaving, we went back to the hotel. They told me to rest and not move around a lot. I however needed and craved a hamburger, STAT. Not sure if it was the medications but that's what I needed, a hamburger. Slept for about 45 min, even though they said I'd probably be knocked out for a few hours and when I woke up I wanted to get out and explore. Again, probably a weird reaction to the meds, not to mention the 3 hour time difference from Cali to TN. We were in TN for almost a week for the whole procedure and recovery time. We explored a little while we were there, but the day after the procedure was when the tiredness hit me. We went to a movie and I felt asleep in the theater. lol, never had that happen before. All in all, it was a great trip and we were very hopeful for a miracle happening!

April...
This month came more meds, lots of labwork and trips to Davis (Sacramento) for ultra-sounds. My arms have never had so much blood taken from them in my life. I was surprised each time I was jabbed that they could even get a vein to give them anything. My first labwork did not come back so well and they were about to change my medicine protocol when they got the results from the lab. I had to personally speak to the Doctor from the fertility center because he said he'd never seen that low of levels ever in his career of doing IVF. Well, hey, let me be the first. I refused to believe that the results were right and in my mind a thought kept coming over and over that said it was a lab error. I had been taking all of meds, had not missed one day of them, and I had the bruises to prove it. So, I went to another lab for a second opinion. The next day the fertility nurse called me and told me that my results were normal, fine and that the other lab had somehow made an error. SCARY! I could have been on progesterone overdose, hello! Thank you to those who were not doing their job right. Thankfully I listened to that voice telling me to get a second opinion. Everything else seemed to be going according to plan. All of the big-mac cravings, fast food and fry sauce were not so weird after all.... We finally found out in April that we were expecting! It worked!!  I couldn't believe my eyeballs when I saw the positive test. And I wasn't convinced still until the 6 week ultra-sound which showed the little black dot with a white bean growing inside. WHAT?!? Is this really happening?? By 6 weeks I started feeling the nausea. I had to start eating every 2 hours on the dot and then I'd be fine, but I still felt yucky. In fact, so yucky that I stayed on the couch for most of April. Some things got done, but I mostly had to rely on my sweet husband. 9-10 hour work days then home to take care of me and Griff. Seriously, I have no idea what I'd do without him. He cleaned, cooked, did laundry... all of my duties went to him. He's amazing. I'm so grateful for him and all he's done for us. Next was the 9 week ultra-sound, this time looking more like a little seahorse and feeling even more real! Baby was measuring exactly to the day and growing like it should! By this time, I wasn't feeling as much nausea, just once in a while, but got a horrible cold, so that put me back down on the couch for 2+ more weeks.We've survived though and it really has been an amazing miracle for our little family!

May...
Of course our families know by now that we are expecting, and a few friends who have helped us out with watching Griffin during all the doctor visits. We wanted to wait till we got past the first trimester before we made the announcement, and honestly I've gained weight from having to eat all the time to suppress the nausea that I can't really hide this belly anymore! So, it is with great excitement that we tell you all that we are officially expecting! We are due December 8th (yes, both our kids will now have December birthdays, love it!) I'm healthy, baby is healthy and growing like it should. I can't believe after 10 years of being married that we are actually expecting. To be able to tell people that is like I'm dreaming. I just never thought it would be me. Like, ever. I was okay with that. I had talked myself into the fact that pregnancy just wasn't in the cards for me and I had fully accepted it. It has definitely been a game changer, and I've had to re-train my mind and thought process once again. But we truly feel so blessed. We can't wait to find out what we are having and prepare for our next little one to join our family. It is a miracle that we thank our Father in Heaven every day for!!

Here is the most recent shot of our little one... I can't believe I'm growing this little person!! Amazing!!

Something I neglected to mention was all the help we've had with Griffin from our awesome friends here in Redding. They have all been so supportive and willing to help us out with long trips to Sacramento and Doctor appointments. You all know who you are and you have no idea how much we have appreciated your love and support!! xoxox